“She only smokes when she drinks, she only drinks now and then. Now and then when she’s tired of being let down by men.“

With the flashbacks of yesterday’s argument, you were stumbling down the long corridor which led to his apartment. You knew you had enough and just wanted to make everything clear, even if it will be the last time you’ll see him.
The closer you got to his door, the harder you thought about how did you fell for him in the first place. Maybe it was his brown eyes or that sexy laughter, maybe it was that amazing smile or his uniqueness. Probably it was because he was different and proud of it. He wasn’t just your usual guy, but you can never name what was the thing that made him so special. Maybe that’s why you fell in love with him. Maybe that’s why you loved him ever since. And that feeling was so strong, you just couldn’t let it die out in you without a trace.
When you finally reached his door, you rang the bell, tried to keep yourself straight, though your heels didn’t help you to keep your balance, combed your fingers through your hair and then grabbed your cluth a little tighter, holding it in front of you. And there he opens the door, with his bed hair and sleepy eyes, apparently you did not care that it was 3 in the morning, your feelings couldn’t wait any longer. He stepped backwards to let you in and you did not hesitate a second.
”Did something happened?” - Chanyeol asked with his still sleeping voice, rubbing his eyes, trying to make them less sensitive to the bright lights in his living room.
”It did.” - you simply answered, trying to gather your strength and say exactly what’s on your mind.
”I’m listening.” - he said, while sitting down on the armrest of his chair, because he felt that if you are here at this time, with an alcohol on your breath it wasn’t just to tell him that your goldfish died. He completely forgot about your argument and was just his usual self.
”Oh, I’m glad you finally are.” - you said with a sarcastic smirk and let your eyes down. “All this time I was trying to tell you… but you wouldn’t listen. That’s why I loved you silently. Until I could. Now, I won’t be silent anymore. Now you can’t say you didn’t know. Now you have to deal with it too.” - you quietly said while clenching your teeth. You were trying to be strong. Not to cry, not to show any pain in your eyes or voice, you had to be strong, even though you felt so weak because of the way you just let him know the truth.Chanyeol took it quite coldly and didn’t want to believe what he just heard. “You are drunk. We will talk in the morning.” - he said calmly, getting up and trying to lead you to his bedroom. He just couldn’t let you go like that and he always liked to sleep right on the couch behind him, because this room got more natural daylight and he just loved to wake up with the first rays of sun hitting his face.”My head is drunk, not my heart, Chanyeol. Alcohol didn’t made me fall in love with you. You did!” - you lost it, because of his reaction. You expected him to even pretend that he didn’t know, you wanted to see even a glare of shock in his eyes, but there was nothing. Like he would have known it all along. You didn’t want to go anywhere, you wanted to talk it out and then leave. You were so done with his good manners, which where the reason you fell even harder.”Now you listen. You know me, or at least I think you know me. And you know I can’t say it back to you, I enjoy my life like this too much and if I fell in love with someone, it would make it all shatter to pieces. I just can’t even think about how hard it would be for you and for me…” - Chanyeol was trying to be honest even though he knew the truth will hurt. He enjoyed being a bachelor and living a free life, without anyone to bother him, because he was too bothered when he was living with his family. This was his dream come true and even the nicest girl he have ever met wasn’t enough for him to want to change that.”Just give me one more night. One night to change your mind.” - you looked at him with a begging look and put your hands on his chest, looking straight into his eyes.”Are you really asking me this?” - Chanyeol squinted his eyes a little, putting his hands on your shoulders. He didn’t push you back, just wanted to look at you a little better and when a little hiccup left your lips, he couldn’t help but to laugh.”Forget it.” - he added right after he finished laughing. “I’ll give you one night, but not in the way you want it.” - he smiled cheekily putting his arm around your shoulders and your heart melted a little. The hiccups were getting worse and being held by him that way, made you want to be protected and taken care of. You let him take you to his bedroom and sat on the bed. Chanie kneeled and helped you to take your heels off, then he tucked the strand of hair, behind your ear and helped you to get into the bed. He quickly left you and came back with a glass of cold water, which he ordered you to drink in one breath. You didn’t have any thoughts to argue with him, only when you saw him leaving again, you whispered.”Can you stay with me?” - you asked a bit shyly, because of the hiccup ruining it from sounding not so desperate.He just smiled and without saying a word walked to his bed and climbed in. He looked at you for a second and then offered you his chest to rest on. Of course you couldn’t reject his offer. And there you were, in your black little dress, messy hair in his bed, laying so close beside him, as you have dreamt so many times before. You didn’t say anything, just listened to his heartbeat which was so similar with yours that you sometimes couldn’t tell them apart and his calm breathing, which settled on the top of your head. Your hiccups were gone as quickly as they have appeared. Chanyeol was so used to being alone that this kind of experience was something quite new to him. He had those one night stands, but no woman stayed in his bed like that. After everything was done, the cab was called and that was the last time he saw those women. He tried not to think about it, but it was so hard, even though the alcohol smell was strong, the scent of your freshly shampooed hair mixed with a little spiciness from cigarette smokes, was what pleasingly filled all his lungs. Suddenly he felt so calm and everything felt so right, he couldn’t brush of the smile on his face. That’s how you found him in the morning, really calm and with a clearly visible smile on his face. You just collected you belongings, kissed him on the forehead and left, without any intention to come back. When Chanyeol woke up he found himself alone in his bed. It wouldn’t be so strange if he wasn’t sure he went to sleep with you by his side. He could have thought it was just a dream, but your scent imprinted in his sheets, was the traitor of your existence. When he got out of bed and looked through all the rooms, he found a little note on the table in the kitchen, next to a freshly brewed coffee. The note said: “Please enjoy this coffee as you enjoy your life. All alone.” It was then when Chanyeol came to think how good it felt to have something like you by his side and how stupid he was to just think about himself once again.